You do not have a Reputation to Protect
It’s all a facade to keep you tripping. Reality does not need to be protected.
A short story
A funny thing happened earlier in the week,
One morning, after I dropped my son at school and was leaving the school premises, I zoomed off as the two way road also has a T junction and usually has some traffic.
I sped up as I noticed the road to be quite empty and there was a nice red bmw tailing me.
We got onto the highway together and I thought to slow down and do some reflecting just before getting to work.
So, tell me why, I reconsidered slowing down so as to maintain the momentum I had initially. Honestly I think if there was no red car tailing me from the school gate, I could have slowed down immediately.
What is Reputation?
What I’m saying is that? Reputation really boils down to 1 thing, an outward appearance. What might people think? We try to hold unto what we feel are the perceptions of others? We try to maintain the status quo.
This is really crazy.
Nina thinks her classmate loves her hair curls and so she tries to maintain them to keep being the curly girl.
The whole notion of reputation is not based on reality. It’s all in the mind. Why do we struggle so much to protect something that is all in the mind?
Cambridge dictionary defines Reputation as, “the opinion that people have of someone or something, based on past behaviour or character”
This is not sustainable.
Why?
Because people change all the time, the people forming the opinion and the people being characterized.
When you force yourself to protect a reputation, you hold onto the past.
Everyday we learn new things, we encounter new people, we go to new places, we learn about ourselves, our convictions change, our understanding gets deeper.
The whole notion of reputation is based upon rigidity, to remain unchangeable. How is that achievable when man is not God, when is not perfect?
What ever opinions people have about us is what they’ve seen or heard, it’s all an outward appearance, only You truly knows who You are and what You stand for.
Sometimes, we hear people say things like, ‘that’s my personality, that’s just who I am’ if you need to constantly inform people about who you are, maybe it’s just who you think you are.
Another short story
Once I had returned home from school fuming because a classmate had commented that I wasn’t girly enough, ‘they called me a tomboy’ and my Dad casually brushed it off.
He didn’t butter me up. He asked me if what my classmate said really mattered? He asked me if I was a boy or a girl?
Of course I gave him a weird look cause obviously I was a girl.
Then he asked me if I would proceed to take off my clothes to prove to others that I was a girl and of course my answer was No.
That was my first lesson in knowing my truth and not having to try and convince others.
Daddy said If I knew it, that’s was enough, what other people thought didn’t matter.
It’s not what you do, it’s the effects of what you do that matters
Reputation can be personal and can be needed for professionalism. And neither really needs to be protected. Don’t be deceived, those who work on image building and so on have the intention to sell a particular viewpoint to others.
Who you are will stand the test of time, when it’s tough or easy going. And professionally your results will stand the test of time. It’s not what you do or say now, it’s the effects that follow what you do or say. How are people changed for a lifetime because of who you are? Are they better off after meeting you or worse?
By their works you shall know them.
If you’re a good sculptor, it’ll show by your works. It’ll be consistent, it will be real.
It is who you are. You don’t need to strive too much to maintain appearances.
If you’re a good singer, you don’t need a certain stage or autotunes. You can do your thing anywhere, anytime and you’ll bring your heaters to a stand still.
Who you truly are will be consistent and replicable. Different situations and circumstances will prove your values and your principles.
The real does not need protection. All of creation respects the audacity of anyone to remain real.
I’m all up for one’s best behavior and excellence at what they do and I believe you should do this to hold yourself accountable and not to impress people.
Why You shouldn’t Try to Protect your Reputation?
Firstly, trying too hard to maintain other people’s formed opinions of you is frankly too much work.
Secondly, it might keep you from changing for the better. Nobody is perfect and what that means is we hope to improve with each new year. It also means why would you want to live life by standards set by similar imperfect people like yourself.
In Conclusion,
I hope your level of kindness and generosity and empathy only gets deeper and higher.
I hope you keep getting softer at responding to humanity no matter what life throws at you.
I hope you remain amenable to change, change for the better.
#letterstomyself
