There’s Nobody in this World you Can’t Relate to
My father is the most social being I have ever met.
Daddy has friends everywhere.
I heard a Fulani milkmaid ask if she could become his second wife. Maybe other woman have said it too, but this one spoke a different language to him and also had a different religion.
I learnt about trade by barter through our transactions with her. For our Ruam (pounded yam), she would give us some fura de nunu (millet cereal in cow milk) and for a tuber of yam, we could get cow ghee(known locally as Mai shanu)
Another time, while on a neighborhood errand, I had run back home trembling , I ran because it seemed as though this homeless man was following me. It turned out we were just headed in the same direction. He was my father’s friend and had been invited to lunch at our house.
It didn’t matter who it was, local or non local, young, old, female, male, church members or the local agberos (thugs), Christian or non Christian, Daddy could relate with everybody.
Daddy’s socializing was so good, it felt bad to us. It didn’t matter where you followed my him to, he always had a word or two to exchange with someone. You could invite him to a totally new place and he would appear to have more friends there than the one who had invited him.
As a young child, I never wanted to be like my Father. It felt too bothersome.
But growing up I have benefited so much because of his socializing. I would go to new town or a new country and Daddy always had someone I could reach out to in case I needed help.
As a medical student in Hungary, one man had gifted me a thousand Euros on account of my father. That was and still is a lot of money.
Here’s What I’m learning as an Adult:
I still do not quite want to be like my father. The thought that I could embrace everyone and maybe be embraced back by a few in turn is too scary. The returns are not guaranteed at all.
Let’s face it, I don’t think my heart is that big.
A lot of people took advantage of my father’s kindness. Then, I thought he didn’t know better, but he did, he just didn’t hold it against them.
But there’s one thing I cannot deny and I hope you could take away from reading this;
Socializing is a vital survival skill.
Anyone who has studied economics will tell you that your most precious asset is the people or network that you have.
“If you want to go fast, go alone, if you want to go far, go together”. African Proverb
To Relate with others Develop an a Interest in them
It’s easy To have acquaintances but it’s not Easy to pick up up the phone and count on those people doing something for you.
Daddy genuinely had an interest in people.
An interest means there’s something to gain. It’s like finding a rough ore of gold. You are going to hold onto it, because you know in time it yield it’s due.
Approach everyone with the mindset that they are rough gold. They are worth your time and effort.
People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care ~ Theodore Roosevelt
To Relate with others Be Humble
Daddy was and is still humble, never looked down on anybody. Everybody was human and equal. You could tell by the way these acquaintances also interacted with him, they considered him friend because he also considered them as friend.
It didn’t matter if other members of the family accepted them or not, my father’s relations with them alone were often enough.
Be Generous
Talk is cheap, I know. Still, this is the truth. You need to be generous with your time and money. Don’t keep records, “people will take advantage of you” — Daddy will always say but God will recompense you.
Daddy is an example of those people who are never full, never empty. As soon as he gets, that money/resources start going out to those who need them.
Hi, I’m Nguper. I write about relationships, life lessons, poetry and health issues. To see my stories in your feed, I’d love for you to follow me (Terngu)
