“It’s me, Hi, I’m the Problem, It’s me”

How I’m Relishing in the Power of No

Photo by Tetbirt Salim on Unsplash

I’ve always been a No person or so I thought but when I said No previously there was always some reluctance. Deep down I used to feel guilt from seeing that people were affected by my refusal to their requests. I would double back wondering if I had done something wrong.

So I tried to compromise, ‘it wasn’t exactly saying yes’ I told myself, I was trying to meet people halfway.

But recently I feel really great saying no, honestly I don’t know what shifted — Quitting two jobs that seemed to be great offers? a shaky marriage? disillusionments about family and friends? Age? No reliable source of income? I think there’s an audacity that comes from rock bottom, it’s like how much worse can it get?😁

I feel at peace.

I feel like me.

I’m no longer looking for people to have a good impression of me.

Someone asked the other day if I wanted to be friends and honestly I thought to myself that I wasn’t looking for friends at this age. I feel that I’m on a journey headed somewhere and hey If I find people with the same energy headed in the same direction, I don’t mind being co-passengers but I’m not searching.