Can your Feelings pay the Bills?
I was one of those people who prided her self on wearing her heart on her sleeves.
Love quickly, hate quickly.
I used to think it made sense, I was being genuine because I could express what I felt.
If I was sad, I was sad
If I was happy, I was happy
If I was angry, I was angry
If I was embarrassed, I was embarrassed
But over time this hasn’t really helped me or my relationships or those around me.
The only thing that comes out from baring your emotions is you get to be the emo guy.
An emo guy is not exactly a good reputation to have.
You get to be the unstable one, the one who is not level headed.
This isn’t actually a false accusation.
Emotional people are led by their feelings/emotions, as harsh it sounds, they don’t use their brains and so they are not level headed.
They can’t argue tactfully, they can’t carry out negotiations, they can’t resolve conflicts.
It’s not a bad thing to be able to feel nor express these emotions, But first ask yourself these questions?
1. What is the context?
2. Who are the people involved?
3. Is it better to use your feelings or your brain?
An Example of Context
If it’s not a life changing situation like deciding to buy popcorn because you’re happy as against deciding to get married because you’re happy? The implications of deciding based upon happiness are very different for both situations.
An Example of Who are the people Involved
Is it your closest loved ones or are you at work with people who are definitely not your friends? If it’s your loved ones, you can get away every now and then by acting upon your feelings, if they truly love you, they’ll help you see reason and help you use your brain.
In many instances, being emotional doesn’t achieve anything at all, it won’t help the cause you’re standing for it won’t change or influence the desired outcome and it certainly won’t pay the bills.
Who exactly are emotions for?
A lot of people tend to run away from negative emotions and while a lot of people also want to associate with positive emotions.
Both kinds of emotions tend to seep out to affect those around us.
Should we only feed one and disregard the other?
This is crazy, because I think emotions are mainly valid for the person currently experiencing them.
I find that people nowadays are experts at pretending, maybe they have always been pretenders but my ignorance and lack of experience in the past did not allow me to notice it.
Anyway, what I’m saying is that people could be feeling one way on the inside while projecting another facade to the outside world.
A high functioning depressed person could outwardly seem outgoing and lively but be dying on the inside.
Likewise, some one might be pretending to be miserable and distraught just to get out of being held liable or accountable for a wrong doing.
So when it comes to feelings, what you see is not necessarily what is!
Emotions cannot be relied on to take decisions in real life. It’s too subjective and much too fickle.
Whether at work or in matters related to love or money or life and death, once you prioritize feelings over actual thinking you’re bound to be in a losing position.
What are feelings for? A Heart health-o-meter ?
Feelings are a gauge for the current state of your inner person, the health of your heart.
They are for you first, before those around you.
Do not ignore your feelings, address them but first internally, sought your self about before addressing your external surroundings. Then, address what needs to be addressed using your brain please.
Get down to the root of why you’re happy or sad, why you are angry or resentful?
Is it really because of them or is it because you?
You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing things with magic. True power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you. Breathe and allow things to pass ~ Warren Buffet
If you’re like me who feels that sometimes people need to get a piece of your mind, please be calming down, let’s learn to use our brain, give them intelligent and tactful stuff that leaves them dumbfounded. 🙏🏽
So, I want to pose this question to you, dear reader; I would really like to see your responses below.
What exactly are emotions or feelings for?
Hi, I’m Nguper. I write about relationships, life lessons, poetry and health issues. To see my stories in your feed, I’d love for you to follow me (Terngu)
